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poker donkeyunknown

The poker donkey has replaced the poker fish. In the olden days of poker (before 1999) the bad players were called fish. Now a days they are called a donkey.
A poker donkey is a bad player, or is he? A poker donkey is a gambler. Not just any old gambler though. The poker donkey will hit their gut shot straight, seven high flush, and miracle full-house after a fourth street flush. The poker donkey is a terrible gambler. The poker donkey will gamble with incorrect odds and hit their miracle card.
A poker donkey does not know any better. Donkeys like to play and they will get paid at your expense. You can expect to find a poker donkey at the lower limits of poker. Usually they will go on good runs of cards. The donkey will run so good that they will be mistaken that they are actually good at poker and berate other players to their fine playing skills.
But, like all donkeys they finally end up on the rail watching other donkeys play. The poker donkey will often be mad and sulk and blame the cards for the absolute terrible run of bad fortune. It is only then that the poker donkey will dig deep to gain knowledge of the game.
Whether you are playing poker online, playing a live poker tournament or playing poker in a casino watch out. There just may be a poker donkey sitting next to you.

That guy is a fucking poker donkey. If I ever play cards like those, I'd be a donkey. You won that hand playing like a donkey.

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poker donkeyunknown

Donks are the parasites of the poker world.
Donks will call any bet, to chase any draw, with any two cards.
Donks have a psychological problem, a gambling addiction.
For Donks, the adrenaline rush of taking huge risks is better than sex.
You might think if you put a donk all-in, or literally put a gun to their head they might fold?
Nope.
That would only make it more of a thrill for them to 'risk it all.'
A few things you can do to beat donks:
1. Defuse their 'thrill' reflex by keeping pots small and boring.
Resist the urge to bet big to 'protect' your hand. That's like waving a red cape at a bull in a china shop. Don't worry about giving away 'free cards.' It's only a free card if he would have folded.
2. Have a deep bankroll.
If possible, get some big corporation to stake your buy-ins.
You may have to wear a hat or Tshirt with their logo, and maybe pose for some promotional photos, but you'll never have to worry about being out of the action just because of suck-outs.
The real threat from donks is that they win YOUR money, then lose it to someone ELSE while you're broke.
The goal is to still be there to capitalize when this piece of filth's luck finally runs out.
3. Don't play micro stakes.
That's any Vegas NLHE cash game with a Big Blind LESS than $10, or tournament with a buy-in less than $500. While you might find a donk in any game, micro stakes are absolutely infested with them; and you just may as well go play Roulette.

That damn poker donkey just couldn't take 'fold' for an answer; and of course, he sucked out on the River.

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